Cracked

Last Friday, it was announced to the world that singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen had died.  One of the songs he was best known for is Hallelujah, which has been rearranged and re-recorded multiple times.  After he died, there was a quote by him floating around on various social media sites which said, “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

After the results of last week’s presidential election, I felt more than a little “cracked.”  Devastated. Horrified. Gutted. Suffering with a complete loss of faith in humanity.  Each of these accurately describing my mental and emotional state prior to waking up Friday morning and finding this lovely quote on my Facebook feed.  

It’s amazing how the universe works—always sending the exact message I need—exactly when I need it. 

"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

I would argue that the exact opposite may be true as well:  If light gets in through the cracks, it must also be released through the cracks.  Our light, our soul, shines from the inside out. If we feed it with positive affirmations, positive thoughts, and love, we will release love back into the universe. Without suffering, we can not know happiness.

It reminded me of the lotus flower and how it only blooms in the mud—it’s beauty in stark contrast to it’s surroundings.  Without the mud, there would be no lotus.  

So the next time you’re feeling a little “cracked”—just remember to let it go and let your light shine.

Change Your Perspective

Recently I attended a Kid’s Yoga Teacher Training at Asheville Yoga Center in Asheville, North Carolina.  A lot of topics were discussed over the course of the training, but one topic that continued to make an appearance in our conversations was about the pressure that children feel from being ever connected to the world of social media, how they believe they must respond immediately when their phone buzzes, and how as a whole, they spend most of their  daylight hours in front of a screen and less and less time outdoors.  JaneAnne Tager, led the discussions and emphasized the importance of using nature themes in our classes as a way for children to disconnect, leave the world of technology behind, and become more grounded using tools found in nature.  

One morning at the beginning of class, we were instructed to go on a short walk, find a leaf and bring it back to class.  I believe the point of the exercise was to help us get out of our heads and find a connection with the universe, returning to class more grounded than when we left. As I walked out the door of the studio, I imagined being on a treasure hunt, looking for the perfect leaf—the one that spoke to me; the one that calmed and soothed me.  Being early September in North Carolina, however, the temperature was still peaking in the eighties and nineties during the day.  The leaves had not yet started to change color and the only leaves on the ground were small and lifeless.  Feeling uninspired, I continued to walk further and further away from the studio.  I began to feel desperate.

“Finding a leaf should not be this difficult, I thought.  Why do you always make everything so complicated?  Just pick up a damn leaf and be done with it!”  And just as I was about to listen to that little voice inside my head, another voice spoke.  This one said, “Why are you only looking at the ground?  Look up!”  Obediently, I turned my gaze toward the sky and that’s when I saw it.

With it’s long, slender, bean-like fruit, I recognized it right away.  Magnificent in size and stature, it dwarfed all the trees around it, offering a canopy of protection with it’s abundance of large, over-sized leaves.  It was the exact same tree that stood in my front yard as a child!  

As I approached the tree, I noticed two shopping carts full of possessions parked under it’s shelter.  The owners were not home so I carefully proceeded to the tree and plucked a single leaf from a low hanging branch, being mindful not to disturb the refuge the tree provided for it’s occupants.

As I walked back to the classroom, I felt humbled.  I have not seen a tree like that since the day my dad had it removed, deeming it undesirable, along with all the mulberry trees that dropped their gifts in the yard staining our feet as we played in the grass.  What are the odds that just as I was about to give up on finding a leaf that I felt a personal connection to, that a Catalpa tree would appear before me?  

I was the last person to return to the classroom and felt a tad bit conscientious knowing all eyes were on me.  The room was silent except for an audible *gasp* that could be heard as I laid my elephantine leaf to rest alongside the treasures that everyone else had gathered on their journey. In the center of the space with our mats spread like spokes on a wheel, the flora and fauna resembled and offering on an alter.

I’ve been thinking about that moment a lot since it happened and wondering how much of my life I’ve spent looking at the ground, not making a connection with anyone or anything around me, when what I was looking for was right in front of me all along.

If you can’t find what you're looking for…CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE!  

At the beginning of the training, Jane Anne stated that one of the goals of the weekend was to help us become reacquainted with our inner child.   With each exercise, I found myself being transported back to my childhood, a time in my life that was filled with happy memories, uncomplicated and innocent.  While this was not intentional, I also do not think it was a coincidence.  I finished the training feeling more grounded than I have in several months and freshly inspired to be the best mom, wife, and yoga teacher I can be, to make a difference in the lives of children who may not have as happy a childhood as me, and to write.  This is the third of a three-part blog post.

Kid's Yoga, M&M's and the politics of respect.

WARNING:  This post is a teensy bit political.  It contains my opinion on respecting each other and to quote Donald Trump, how to “Make America Great Again.”  P.S. It has nothing to do with building walls.

So how can a post about kid’s yoga and M&M’s be political?  In today’s world, anything can be twisted into something political, like the very word itself.  According to dictionary.com, “political” is an adjective with six different definitions.  Each definition has a unifying commonality of or pertaining to the word “government”.  Over the years, the meaning of the word “political” has shape shifted.  Rather than being by the people, for the people, and of the people, it has slithered into darkness, something to be reviled—lumping politicians into a stereotype of dishonesty and corruption.

Ask ten different kids what they believe the best M&M candy color is and you are certain to receive several different responses:  red, yellow, blue, brown—light or dark—it doesn’t matter.  (Keep in mind that regardless of color, they all taste the same.)  Then when they are feeling quite confident and happy with their answer, tell them they are all wrong.  Their color of choice is not the best color, because your favorite color is green and therefore, green is the best color.  Then take it a step further and tell them that because they don’t believe the same way as you, you can no longer be friends.  In fact, you are now enemies.  Watch their innocent faces contort into confusion and sadness.

See what I did there?  I used a sweet little anecdote about M&M’s, a classic American candy, to illustrate how silly it is to hate someone for simply having a different belief.  Yes…it is that simple.  Regardless if the topic is religion, political party affiliation, gun control, health care, or M&M’s, spewing hatred toward someone because they believe differently is SILLY—a term even a child understands.

I believe it is imperative people be allowed to voice their opinions, even when I don’t share their view, but I also believe it is imperative to conduct oneself in a respectful and civilized manner, and therefore I recently and for the first time, “unfriended” a FB friend for the following (unedited) post:  

“Ok I have been quiet long enough. I can no longer sit here and listen to this garbage about Syria and these refugees. Listen to the crap about ISIS. Here is the real deal. We no longer can trust any of them...not one. That sounds harsh but I don't care. If they come here again and pull an attack I promise you WE THE PEOPLE will hunt them down ourselves. Our worthless, peace of shit, coward, terrorist president is doing nothing but we will. To all you liberal pieces of shit I have an idea.... Go over there with all your huggy bullshit and live among these animals for awhile see if changes your views. It's so easy to sit on your couch and give love and crap to these animals you know nothing about. The days of these liberal views and this so called President are numbered. Than maybe we can get back to being the proud and powerful nation we once were. And before all you ass hat liberal democrats respond on here to this don't bother. Everyone is sick of your bullshit and no ones listening. I and millions of others fought on foreign dirt for this country and by God we will do it again on this dirt. So in closing.....STAND UP AMERICANS TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY AND PURGE THIS SICKNESS KNOWN AS LIBERAL DEMOCRATS!!!! GOD BLESS THE USA🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸”

I did not take “unfriending” this person lightly.  We were baptized in the same church, studied from the same Catechism, and took communion together throughout our young adulthood. 

Am I a hypocrite for clicking the “unfriend” button?  After all, I had just stated that I believe people are entitled to their opinions and that just because someone does not share my world view does not mean they should be my enemy.  In eighth grade Civics class we learned about Freedom of Speech and the other 9 amendments to the Constitution that make up the Bill of Rights.  We were also taught that those rights we as American citizens share, do not extend to infinity, but only to the point where they begin to impede on our neighbors rights.  I felt violated by this post.  It contained so much hate and venom that I believed if I had remained “friends” with the author, I would be submissively guilty of condoning the words within.  

So how do we make America great again?  Like Whitney Houston, sang, “The children are our future.  Teach them well and let them lead the way.”  Teach them to love and respect themselves and their peers, regardless of skin color, religious affiliation or M&M color preference.  And for goodness sakes, teach them to not refer to the person who holds the highest office in the land as a “worthless, piece of shit, coward, terrorist,”  because that’s not going to get it done.

I am not a person of power.  I do not have a large audience or celebrity status.  I am a wife and a mother, a sister and a daughter, a friend, a neighbor and a yoga instructor.  I am limited in my ability to defend against those that believe it is okay to spread hatred and bigotry, so I will continue to slowly spread my message of love and goodwill toward one another…one breath at a time.

And if you’d like to share some M&M’s, I’ll even let you have the best color…GREEN!

Standing Tall in Mountain Pose

One of my last projects to complete in order to receive my 200 hour yoga teacher training certification is to write a 6 week beginning yoga student series.  Mountain Pose is a foundational yoga pose.  It should be taught (and learned) before any other pose.  It is a pose that is important enough, I felt it warranted a blog post dedicated to only it.

Mountain Pose, known in Sankskrit as Tadasana, is a key pose in all yoga styles.  It is the pose we seek in every other pose.  Proper alignment is crucial and begins at the base of the mountain, where our feet meet the earth.  Choose your base wisely.  Some people prefer their feet together.  Some people prefer their feet apart.  A wider stance will produce a more stable foundation, so if balance is a concern, feet hip distance apart is a good guideline. 

Standing at the top of your mat, lift your toes up and place them all back down one by one so the pads of your toes touch the ground beneath them.  Shift around on your feet until you feel your weight evenly distributed between your big toe mound, your little toe mound, and the heel of your foot.  Once your feet are firmly planted, you can begin to move up the mountain.

• Engage your quadriceps, the muscles at the front of the thigh.  You should feel a slight lift in your knee caps.
• Check that your pelvis is in a neutral position.  If you have a tendency to stick your tailbone out, scoop it slightly being careful not to over-scoop or hypo-extend.
• Engage your core muscles.
• Lengthen up through your spine.
• Relax your shoulders and roll them down your back.
• Chin should be in a neutral position, parallel to the floor.
• Turn your palms to face front.
• Breathe.

Can you see Tadasana in this Downward Dog?

As you continue to practice yoga, you’ll start to realize, Tadasana is in every pose…the neutral pelvis, the engaged core muscles, the straightened spine, reaching out through the crown of your head and out through the heels of your feet—in plank, in downward facing dog, in forward fold.  Build a strong mountain from the beginning and a strong asana practice will follow.

During a Yin Yoga teacher training seminar, Joe Barnett, a senior student of Paul Grilley, stated:  “As we grow older, we are shrinking and drying up.”  In fact, according to the article, Do people shrink as they age? written by University of Arkansas for Medical Services, we can start to lose inches as early as 30 years old.

Don't over-scoop putting your pelvis into posterior tilt.

Well into my “over the hill” years, I’m certain this statement is true for a large majority of the population, but I can attest that I am actually ½” taller than I was before I began practicing yoga.  Not because there’s magic or voodoo in my yoga practice, but because of Tadasana.  I have learned to stand up straight.  I no longer stand with my pelvis anteriorly tilted; I no longer stand with my shoulders slumped forward; and I no longer stand with my gaze toward the floor.  I stand with my spine straight, pelvis in neutral, shoulders back, and head high.  I’ve elongated my spine and created space between my vertebrae.

So while most people my age are being overcome by the gravitational pull of the earth, I’m finding new height!  Just one more positive thing to add to the list of the many ways yoga has improved my overall quality of  life.

The Power of Positive Thinking

As part of my 200 hour yoga teacher training, I was tasked with journaling 5 things I felt grateful for each day, over the course of 30 days.  From this assignment, I discovered that there is an amazing shift in paradigm that occurs quite quickly when asked to contemplate gratitude.  I gained a new found appreciation for perspective.

At the end of each day as I sat down to journal, I discovered the ability to turn a negative situation into a positive one.

"Saw a snake today--grateful it didn't chase me down and attack."

"Backed out of the garage with the passenger-side door open--although a bit askew, grateful it still closes."

"Sat in traffic today while an accident was being cleared--grateful to see both drivers outside of their vehicles uninjured.  Double grateful I reached my destination safely and without incident--even if I was a little late."

In all of these instances, I could have wallowed in the negative:

Seeing a snake created a fight or flight response.  Because of my fear of snakes, I chose flight.  I turned back and walked an additional mile in order to avoid crossing its path.  Fortunately it was a beautiful morning, I had no where else to be, and I needed the exercise. 

Crunching my car door may prove to be an expensive repair.  Fortunately, it is not a repair that is critical to being able to use the car.  The repair can wait--if I even have it repaired at all. 

And while being late usually induces anxiety, I used my yogi Dirga Breath to remain calm.  And when I finally did arrive at the doctor's office after sitting in traffic for the accident, I discovered she too was running a bit behind schedule.  My time spent sitting in the waiting room was significantly less than it would have been had I arrived on time. 

Three potentially negative situations; three positive perspectives.

Abraham Lincoln said, " We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."  

I will admit I haven't always viewed the world from a rosy place of love and gratitude.  For most of my life, I had a "glass half-empty" soul.  I loved drama. I loved exaggeration.  I loved playing the victim.
  

"Woe is me...I had to walk an extra mile because there was a horrible reptilian creature blocking me from my path."
 
 "Woe is me...I cannot drive an ugly car.  We are going to have to fore go our family vacation to pay for the repair so my car can be pretty again."

"Woe is me...I had to sit in traffic, causing me to be late to my appointment, and no one was even injured."

My husband used to say, "You're not happy, unless you're miserable."  He was right.  And that is one more thing for which I am grateful.  I am grateful to have found yoga..not just as an exercise program, but as an entire mind-body experience.  Those words have since been shuttered from his vocabulary.  In the present moment, I have such peace and contentment--all because of a change in perspective.

So...when you're having a bad day, see if you can shift your perspective.  Try looking at the situation from a different angle, and see if you can find gratitude where before there might not have been any.

You'll be grateful you did!

If you fail to plan, plan to fail 2.0

One of the first rules of being a successful blogger is to write and post often...in other words...blog.

In my last blog post, titled:  If you fail to plan, plan to fail, I concluded that not having a plan was in fact THE PLAN.  But then Miss Peggy at Lake Norman Taekwondo asked if I would be interested in teaching yoga at their TKD school.  And the planning began...hours and hours of planning.  Which is why I have been such an absentee blogger...because it takes hours and hours to plan a class.  Oh.  Did I just mention that?!

A lot goes into preparing a single 60 minute class because it is important to perform the proper preparatory poses before reaching the peak pose.  (I love alliteration!)  So I am spending hours upon hours researching and researching and researching not only how to write a sequence, but also what are the proper preparatory poses and how do I cue each pose?  I'm also evaluating the sequence to ensure it flows smoothly without any awkward transitions and taking into account injuries the students have communicated such as sciatica and back surgeries.  And then there's choosing the music and practicing the class before I actually give the class.  All that and I'm sure I'm still missing key components like having a "theme."  Maybe someday my classes will have themes.  Right now my theme is, "I hope I have enough material to last 60 minutes."

The best part of all the time spent researching is that I am learning a ton and am so grateful for the opportunity to practice teaching.  And I'm convinced in time, writing sequences will become as easy as breathing.

And I've learned another valuable lesson.  In Yoga we are always seeking balance in our lives. There is a time and place for planning.  I cannot leave everything up to the Universe because like Jon V. and Benjamin Franklin said, "If you fail to plan, plan to fail."  So for now, my new plan is to embrace all opportunities as they present themselves to me and to not fail!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a class to plan.  And...if you missed the original, "If you fail to plan, plan to fail," check it out on this very blog!  Namaste.

If you fail to plan, plan to fail.

Anyone who knows me, knows I like order.  I like to plan, and more importantly, I like to stick to the plan.  Do not even suggest we change the plan once the plan is written in ink, because it might as well have been carved in stone. I'm also a consummate list maker and derive great pleasure from crossing things off the list once the task is accomplished.

As flexible as my body is, my actions and mindset are often a stark contradiction.  That is why Yoga is so important to me. It provides me relief from myself.  For sixty minutes or ninety minutes or for however long the class is, the only task on my "to do" list is to breathe.

So when I began this journey, it was quite out of character to not have a plan.  The truth is I felt scared.  Yoga is so important to my sanity, I didn't want to ruin it by placing expectations on what I was going to accomplish by attending teacher training.  I told myself, even if I do nothing--if I never teach a single class or earn a single dollar, it doesn't matter.  Yoga is for me.  If the only thing I get out of teacher training is a better understanding of Yoga, then it will all be worth it.

But then I started to feel pressure because that's what a control freak with a Type A personality does.  I started to brood, my heart grew heavy, a slight depression began creeping in.  Where's the path leading me?  I wondered.  Ironic considering, at the time, I was walking in circles on an outdoor track.

"If you fail to plan, plan to fail."  

The first time I heard these words, I was sitting in a large lecture hall with a few hundred other students on the campus of Michigan State University listening to Professor Jon Vredevoogd.  He spoke them loudly, clearly, and with intent.  And then he repeated them.  "If you fail to plan, plan to fail."  It was my first term at MSU.  Always a good student, I eagerly scribbled the words down in my notebook.  Nearly twenty-five years after I first sat in that classroom, those words are the only thing I remember and yet they seem counter-intuitive to what I am trying to achieve at this moment in my life...to Be. Here. Now.

 
So, just as I felt I may be on the verge of a complete meltdown because staying present is a lot harder than being present, Miss Peggy, from Lake Norman Taekwondo approached me about teaching yoga in their TKD studio.  Wow.  Talk about the universe showing up and taking charge.

Where my yoga journey takes me from here, I don't know.  In the course of writing this blog post and having the opportunity to reflect, I realized not having a plan was the plan.  So, in the future, when I start to feel anxious about where the path is leading me, I'm going to get out of my own head, go to the mat, and breathe...and trust that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.

 Much later in life, I would learn those famous words first belonged to Benjamin Franklin not Jon D. Vredevoogd, but by that time it didn't matter.  They were already ingrained in my memory banks giving Vredevoogd total credit for placing them there.  Because I couldn't remember how to spell Vredevoogd, I googled my old Human Environments and Design professor.  In doing so I discovered Professor Jon D. Vredevoogd passed away in November 2013.  He was 70 years old and in addition to teaching at Michigan State University for 35 years, he also worked for NASA and American Airlines and  finished 6 Chicago Marathons...all of which I'm sure required rigorous planning.  

Rest in Peace, Professor.

Sanskrit Word of the Day: NAMASTE

NAMASTE written in Sanskrit

After our physical yoga practice, we relax on our backs, legs splayed apart, hands by our sides, palms face up as if ready to receive an offering.  Fingers retain their natural curl. We are in the most important pose of our practice, Savasana or Corpse Pose, where the breath and heart rate return to normal and our body and systems (digestive, immune, nervous, etc.) absorb the information from the stimulation of the poses we have just performed. After about ten minutes, we are instructed to begin moving fingers and toes and then told to turn and lie on our right side before returning to our comfortable seated position.  Eyes remain closed.  We bring our hands to heart center, anjali mudra, prayer positon.  Before sending us back into the world, my teacher prays:

May I take my yoga today with me in my heart, 

keeping it open to all situations I encounter.

May I take my yoga today with me in my mouth, 

speaking only my truth.

May I take my yoga today with me in my eyes, 

viewing all beings, 

 including myself, 

 with eyes that are filled with compassion.*

When she finishes speaking these lovely words, she honors the class by saying, "Namaste".  

"Namaste," we echo back bowing.

In Sanskrit, NAMA means "bow",  AS means "I", and TE means "you".  Therefore, NAMASTE literally translates to "I bow to you." However, it is more commonly translated as “The divine light in me honors the divine light in you."

In the West, we typically only speak the word, NAMASTE before and/or after a yoga practice.  Initiated by the teacher, NAMASTE is a symbol of gratitude and respect toward her students and her own teachers and in return invites the students to connect with their lineage.

For more information regarding the use of the word NAMASTE, check out this article in Yoga Journal or this article from the Chopra Center website.

NAMASTE as defined by Urban Dictionary:

an ancient Sanskrit greeting still in everyday use in India and especially on the trail in the Nepal Himalaya. Translated roughly, it means "I bow to the God within you", or "The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you" - a knowing that we are all made from the same One Divine Consciousness.

 NAMASTE as defined by dictionary.com:

a conventional Hindu expression on meeting or parting, used by the speaker usually while holding the palms together vertically in front of the bosom.

*My teacher, Talei, credits Vietnamese, Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh for the beautiful, inspiring prayer she delivers at the end of her classes with slight modifications made by her.