Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Kid's Yoga, M&M's and the politics of respect.



WARNING:  This post is a teensy bit political.  It contains my opinion on respecting each other and to quote Donald Trump, how to “Make America Great Again.”  P.S. It has nothing to do with building walls.

So how can a post about kid’s yoga and M&M’s be political?  In today’s world, anything can be twisted into something political, like the very word itself.  According to dictionary.com, “political” is an adjective with six different definitions.  Each definition has a unifying commonality of or pertaining to the word “government”.  Over the years, the meaning of the word “political” has shape shifted.  Rather than being by the people, for the people, and of the people, it has slithered into darkness, something to be reviled—lumping politicians into a stereotype of dishonesty and corruption.

Ask ten different kids what they believe the best M&M candy color is and you are certain to receive several different responses:  red, yellow, blue, brown—light or dark—it doesn’t matter.  (Keep in mind that regardless of color, they all taste the same.)  Then when they are feeling quite confident and happy with their answer, tell them they are all wrong.  Their color of choice is not the best color, because your favorite color is green and therefore, green is the best color.  Then take it a step further and tell them that because they don’t believe the same way as you, you can no longer be friends.  In fact, you are now enemies.  Watch their innocent faces contort into confusion and sadness.

See what I did there?  I used a sweet little anecdote about M&M’s, a classic American candy, to illustrate how silly it is to hate someone for simply having a different belief.  Yes…it is that simple.  Regardless if the topic is religion, political party affiliation, gun control, health care, or M&M’s, spewing hatred toward someone because they believe differently is SILLY—a term even a child understands.

I believe it is imperative people be allowed to voice their opinions, even when I don’t share their view, but I also believe it is imperative to conduct oneself in a respectful and civilized manner, and therefore I recently and for the first time, “unfriended” a FB friend for the following (unedited) post:  

“Ok I have been quiet long enough. I can no longer sit here and listen to this garbage about Syria and these refugees. Listen to the crap about ISIS. Here is the real deal. We no longer can trust any of them...not one. That sounds harsh but I don't care. If they come here again and pull an attack I promise you WE THE PEOPLE will hunt them down ourselves. Our worthless, peace of shit, coward, terrorist president is doing nothing but we will. To all you liberal pieces of shit I have an idea.... Go over there with all your huggy bullshit and live among these animals for awhile see if changes your views. It's so easy to sit on your couch and give love and crap to these animals you know nothing about. The days of these liberal views and this so called President are numbered. Than maybe we can get back to being the proud and powerful nation we once were. And before all you ass hat liberal democrats respond on here to this don't bother. Everyone is sick of your bullshit and no ones listening. I and millions of others fought on foreign dirt for this country and by God we will do it again on this dirt. So in closing.....STAND UP AMERICANS TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY AND PURGE THIS SICKNESS KNOWN AS LIBERAL DEMOCRATS!!!! GOD BLESS THE USA🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸”

I did not take “unfriending” this person lightly.  We were baptized in the same church, studied from the same Catechism, and took communion together throughout our young adulthood. 

Am I a hypocrite for clicking the “unfriend” button?  After all, I had just stated that I believe people are entitled to their opinions and that just because someone does not share my world view does not mean they should be my enemy.  In eighth grade Civics class we learned about Freedom of Speech and the other 9 amendments to the Constitution that make up the Bill of Rights.  We were also taught that those rights we as American citizens share, do not extend to infinity, but only to the point where they begin to impede on our neighbors rights.  I felt violated by this post.  It contained so much hate and venom that I believed if I had remained “friends” with the author, I would be submissively guilty of condoning the words within.  

So how do we make America great again?  Like Whitney Houston, sang, “The children are our future.  Teach them well and let them lead the way.”  Teach them to love and respect themselves and their peers, regardless of skin color, religious affiliation or M&M color preference.  And for goodness sakes, teach them to not refer to the person who holds the highest office in the land as a “worthless, piece of shit, coward, terrorist,”  because that’s not going to get it done.

I am not a person of power.  I do not have a large audience or celebrity status.  I am a wife and a mother, a sister and a daughter, a friend, a neighbor and a yoga instructor.  I am limited in my ability to defend against those that believe it is okay to spread hatred and bigotry, so I will continue to slowly spread my message of love and goodwill toward one another…one breath at a time.

And if you’d like to share some M&M’s, I’ll even let you have the best color…GREEN!


Sunday, February 8, 2015

Love knows no religion

Some time between the year(s) 53-55 AD, the Apostle Paul was credited with writing the book of Corinthians.  One of the more well known passages from those writings is found in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


But long before Paul wrote these beautiful words defining love, which are often recited at Christian wedding ceremonies, there was Metta Sutta, thought to be written as early as 400 BC.  Metta, in its simplest terms is defined as loving kindness.  It is a meditation focused on the development of unconditional love for all beings.  Because of its practice of loving all beings, it is also known as universal love.  The word Metta is of Pali descent which is an Indic language, closely related to Sanskrit, in which the sacred texts of Theravada Buddhism are written. Some of my favorite concepts of Metta from the website Wildmind.org are:
  • Metta is empathy. It’s the willingness to see the world from another person's point of view: to walk a mile in another person’s shoes.
  • Metta is wishing others well.
  • Metta is friendliness, consideration, kindness, and generosity.
  • Metta is the basis for compassion. When our Metta meets someone suffering, then our Metta transforms into compassion.
  • Metta is the basis for shared joy. When our Metta meets with another person's happiness or good fortune, then it transforms into an empathetic joyfulness.
  • Metta is boundless. We can feel Metta for any being, regardless of gender, race, or nationality.
  • Metta is the most fulfilling emotional state that we can know.
  • It’s our inherent potential. To wish another well is to wish that they be in a state of experiencing Metta.
  • Metta is the answer to almost every problem the world faces today. Money won’t do it. Technology won’t do it. Metta, loving-kindness toward all beings, will.  


While Apostle Paul's words, "Love is patient, love is kind...." are undeniably true, so is the idea that if you project love into the universe, you will get love back.

Recently the fans of hip-hop/rap mogul Kanye West, blew up the twitter-verse praising Kanye for giving an older, unknown artist a big break by recording the song, Only One with him.  That “unknown” artist, actually known to millions of people over the age of 25, was none other than Sir Paul McCartney, a bit of a music mogul himself.  In 1969, SPM penned a song titled, The End, which appeared on the album, Abbey Road.  True to it's title, The End was the last song the Beatles ever recorded together.  In the song, the line, "Love you, love you" is repeated 12 times, but it is the last line of that song that has garnered the most attention over the course of the past 45 years, “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”  

Universal Love.

And while the Beatles never recorded as a complete group again, John, Paul, George, and Ringo each continued to make music, both in solo careers and with other groups including one or two Silly Love Songs.

Released in 1971, the lyrics to Imagine suggest to me that John Lennon had a philosophy for love and peace all his own.  In a January 1981 interview with Playboy magazine, John Lennon stated, "I am no more a Buddhist, than I am a Christian..." I wonder if the fans of Kanye West have ever heard of John Lennon?

"Imagine"

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one



So whether you subscribe to the Biblical belief of love, the teachings of Buddha and the philosophy of Metta, Imagine the world according to John Lennon, or all of the above, I wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day filled with much loving-kindness and peace to all!  Be sure to take lots of love this week...as it it equal to the love you make


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Educated

Every day for the first seven years of Child Numero Uno's school career, I asked the same question the second he stepped off the bus, "Soooo...whatcha learn today?"

For seven years I received the same response, "Nuthin'."
I finally quit asking.
Then one day last year in the middle of sixth grade, Numero Uno bounced through the door, "Hey mom! Guess what?!"
"Whaa-at?" I replied cautiously. (Numero Uno has a tendency to say things I don't want to hear.)
"I learned something new in school today!" he exclaimed.
"You did!?"
"Yep," he said proudly..."I learned I'm an atheist!"

 
First surprise.  Then anger.
"How do you know this?"
"Are they talking about religion in school?"
"Which class?"
"Which teacher?"
Questions shot out of my mouth in rapid-fire succession.
Is that even legal?  I wondered.



I felt shocked, but I shouldn't have.

Truthfully, in kindergarten, when he refused to get out of the van to go to class citing, "I don't want to go to that Jesus school," I should have known then.  When he talked about the creation of Earth in terms of a "big bang" after watching a program on the Discovery Channel, I should have known then. 

I recently read a book titled:  Ten Amazing People and How They Changed the World written by Maura D. Shaw.  The ten people featured in the book were:
  • Black Elk, a Native American Spirit Guide who used his visions to help the world better understand his culture and religion.
  • Dorothy Day, a newspaper reporter turned Catholic advocate for the poor during the Great Depression.
  • Malcolm X, a juvenile delinquent turned minister of Islam who worked for the empowerment of African Americans through peaceful communication.
  • Mahatma Gandhi, a well-to-do Hindu law student turned political activist for freedom of all Indians from British rule and equality for the poorest people of India through his practice of satyagraha, or peaceful resistance.
  • Martin Luther King Jr., a Baptist minister, leader of the Civil Rights Movement, and youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, he helped African Americans achieve justice and triumph over racism through non-violent protests.
  • Janusz Korczak, a Jewish physician, teacher, and writer who worked all his life for the rights of children.  He along with nearly 200 Jewish orphans bravely marched to the train that transported them to the German death camp from where they would never return.
  • Mother Theresa, a Roman Catholic nun, founder of Missionaries of Charity, and Nobel Peace Prize winner, she lived among the poorest people in India bringing awareness to the needs of the world's sick, hungry, and homeless.
  • Albert Schweitzer, a Protestant pastor, musician, and writer, returned to school for eight years to become a medical doctor so he could travel to Africa and build a hospital to care for the poor.  He won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1952 and used the monetary award to build a leper colony.
  • Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese, Buddhist monk exiled from his homeland for his peaceful, anti-war activities.
  • Desmond Tutu, an Anglican Priest who spoke out against human rights abuses around the world and helped to bring an end to Apartheid, garnering him the Nobel Prize for Peace. 

Each was a warrior for peace; a champion for the poor, the oppressed, the discriminated, leading the world, aiding the sick.  All great humanitarians; all great leaders for change.  What did each one have in common?  Each had a strong connection to their faith.  While not all Christian, their faith played a key role in who they were, what drove them, what they represented.  Each believed in something greater than themselves.

Numero Uno will most likely never be a Desmond Tutu or a Mahatma Gandhi, but as long as he is respectful and shows compassion and empathy toward others, I will be proud.  The Dalai Lama said, "There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.  My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."

I am sure Numero Uno is not done challenging me with his beliefs.  Being a card-carrying member of the NRA is probably in his future, but the day he announces he's voting Republican, he'll have to find a new place to live!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Celebrating Valentine's Day with Metta: Loving Kindness




Some time between the year(s) 53-55 AD, the Apostle Paul was credited with writing the book of Corinthians.  One of the more well known passages from those writings is found in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

But long before Paul wrote these beautiful words defining love, which are often recited at Christian wedding ceremonies, there was Metta Sutta, thought to be written as early as 400 BC.  Metta, in its simplest terms is defined as loving kindness.   It is a meditation focused on the development of unconditional love for all beings.  Because of its practice of loving all beings, it is also known as universal love.  The word Metta is of Pali descent which is an Indic language, closely related to Sanskrit, in which the sacred texts of Theravada Buddhism are written.


Some of my favorite concepts of Metta from the website Wildmind.org are:
  • Metta is empathy. It’s the willingness to see the world from another person's point of view: to walk a mile in another person’s shoes.
  • Metta is wishing others well.
  • Metta is friendliness, consideration, kindness, and generosity.
  • Metta is the basis for compassion. When our Metta meets someone suffering, then our Metta transforms into compassion.
  • Metta is the basis for shared joy. When our Metta meets with another person's happiness or good fortune, then it transforms into an empathetic joyfulness.
  • Metta is boundless. We can feel Metta for any being, regardless of gender, race, or nationality.
  • Metta is the most fulfilling emotional state that we can know.
  • It’s our inherent potential. To wish another well is to wish that they be in a state of experiencing Metta.
  • Metta is the answer to almost every problem the world faces today. Money won’t do it. Technology won’t do it. Metta, loving-kindness toward all beings, will. 
While Apostle Paul's words, "Love is patient, love is kind...." are undeniably true so is the idea that if you project love into the universe, you will get love back. 

In a January 1981 interview with Playboy magazine, John Lennon stated, "I am no more a Buddhist, than I am a Christian..."  Released ten years earlier in 1971, the lyrics to Imagine suggest to me that John had a philosophy all his own.

"Imagine"

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one


So whether you subscribe to the Biblical belief of love, the teachings of Buddha and the philosophy of Metta, Imagine the world according to John Lennon, or all of the above, I wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day and much loving-kindness and peace to all!

The world of yoga is vast and as a teacher trainee, I have much to learn.  I have unearthed only a tiny portion of what there is to explore.  I owe Melissa Smith, founder of Grace Yoga and Pilates and the instructor of Thai Yoga Massage, which I recently studied through Holistic Yoga Therapy Institute for introducing me to Metta--my newest treasure.